Video recap: #vend4yourselves

Video speaks for itself … thank you Ian Cohen for your creative (and bastardly) genius with the video, editing, and entire concept …

Vend 4 Yourself from Patrick Chaupham on Vimeo.

Vending machine – 1; Patrick – 0

It was an epic day … I think I might have missed one or two on my Posterous but the end result was I lost. I didn’t give up, but I did indeed lose to the epic vending machine.

25 items (out of the 40). A little north of 5600 calories. 9-bottles of water. $350 end result. A 6-hour headache. And completely no desire to ever eat any of those items ever again.

The beginning of the day started with a lot of carbs – stacked back to back to back to back. Everything was dry. My tongue felt like it was made of sandpaper. My mouth and throat could not handle swallowing. And my stomach just expanded and became … confused.

What did I learn? All of those products in the vending machine are disgusting. I knew they we chocked full of artificial ingredients, 6-syllable chemicals, sugar, sodium and partially hydrogenated oils. What I didn’t realize was how quickly all of those things consumed in such a short period of time and in large volume became detrimental to my body. I started getting a headache around noon, and as I write this around 7:24PM, it still lingers. My body temperature rose trying to process all these calories.  I drank 9-bottles of water (and 1-can of ginger ale) … but didn’t use the rest room often enough. Everything was packed so full of sodium, I seemed to magically dehydrate myself just sitting at my desk working – and eating.

There will be awesome video and commentary from this. I shall post it later this week.

Thanks for staying tuned and following today!

Here’s the machine that kicked my ass … (notice the shirt is tight now)

My last word on this is, I am sure all of these items in the vending machine are fine, in small doses or moderation individually. I do not recommend anyone else attempting this challenge and consuming the amalgamation of all of these items in a single day, it’s not healthy.


Vend for yourselves!

It’s a random brisk Tuesday morning. It’s prime time for the holiday season, full of merriment, joy, and of course glutinous consumption. How better to ring in the holidays and also raise some charitable contributions than a food challenge? Before I write anymore, I blame Ian Cohen. That bastige.

This might be one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made, but as most know me, I don’t typically back down from a challenge. The challenge today? The Vending Machine challenge.

The task is simple: eat one one of each of the items in a vending machine over a 9-hour work day period. This particular vending machine happens to contain 40-items, ranging from savory to sweet, candy to chips, and even a few packs of gum to mix things up.

The curve-ball to this challenge is, I don’t actually get to pick the order that I eat the items. My co-workers do. They pick the item, they pick the time. Random draw – or should I say, no-so-random as they’ve strategically picked items and stacked it against my odds of completing the task at hand. I complete the challenge? The contributions go to our charitable organization. I lose the challenge? I match the contributions and then donate also.

My current mental and hunger state? Mentally, I’m neither-here nor there. I’m ready to take this head on with utmost hesitations. Physically, I’m hungry.

On the plan thus far are: chicken flavor ramen noodles (9:00am), reese peanut butter cups (9:15am), special-k double chocolate protein bar (9:30am), TGIFridays bacon flavor potato skins (9:45am), lifesavers wintergreen mints (10:00am), twix candy bars (10:05am) … and so many other items …

Last point before I begin this epic-ness? Calorie count guess for the day? 8000 calories. No I don’t plan on eating much else in terms of a meal today. Follow me on Twitter (@patrickchaupham) today, as well as my Posterous for the play-by-play. There will be a re-cap video.

Here’s my happy mug at 8:00am in the morning, before I consume a single item:


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